scribbles....

A glimmer of hope
Oh please do not stop
A drop of sanctity
Oh,no, back to insanity
Who am i....Who am i
A bunch of thoughts
You made me walk on the clouds.

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Freaky ,bizarre,weird,lovely
Ringing in my ears a tune melancholy.
Feeling so high and at times low
Can't do anything to keep my vow
Can't even ask for forgiveness
Shrinking in the shell of loneliness
Ray of hope,comes through a hole
It destroys the vacuum,fills my soul
I just wanna be there at that time
To feel that there is no me and there is no time.

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When silence deafens my ears
When loneliness crunches my heart
Even rolling tears feel like a caress on my face
When i long for a breeze to take my arms
Behold.. the moment when i feel that i am done
The moment nothingness eats away my being
Love just flows
When just being there is ecstasy
Burn me off in the fire of your love
To be free from the paradox of non existential realities.

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Times when silence is music
Times when i feel silence in a carnival
Times when journey itself is the destination
Times when a destination is your destiny
Times when time just stops

Times when i stop myself from giving in
Times when i choose pride over ecstasy
Times when i choose death over life
Times when i thought it was the other way round
Times when understanding is bruising happiness

Freeze the time,ignite the light,consume.

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A drop of tear from the gloomy eyes
That give sinking heart a little solace
Down the eyes and caress the cheeks
Fall on the ground and make it pious

Waited for you in the chains of pain
followed the mirage and i am lost again
Pump and excitement all in vain
Hope that blossoms will come again.

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We see people all the time
Like you,once in a lifetime
Is this fear or excitement
sorry, i am totally ignorant
Fill the voids of my inner space
Make my heart beat at a faster pace
Red, black, blue or a different hue
Am i drugged or is it just you.

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Scribbles by Ivan.U.Vattanallae.
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sea waves...

for the last 4 months i have been continually visiting the beach.the sea is extremely beautiful and exciting.i have been resisting the call of the waves for sometime now.i feel that it would be immensely beautiful to give in to the power.but at the same time i could get completely lost.. damned.i still dont know...seems to be beyond my intellect.this is heart wrenching.pain and trauma has struck my being so hard.help...is this a prayer... i feel it is...